it takes a little while for mineo to pick himself up, and to start walking. it takes him a little while longer still to realize, after a few rooms, that he's looking for something even if he can't quite put his finger on it. it doesn't really dawn on him until he walks into the airport and catches sight of takeru, and then there's just the brief realization of, 'oh, right, i would be looking for you.'
. . . . the sense of fear probably gives him away first, but he does start to walk toward him. mineo is still feeling plenty of things (uncertainty, guilt, resignation) but at least for the moment the feeling that wins out is worry.]
[ he's seated on the floor, facing the large windows to look out at the scenery.
takeru doesn't really look at mineo, but the change in his posture does indicate that he knows he's there; he tenses, and then forces his shoulders to relax.
and then he digs into his pocket, and pulls out his phone. he opens it, and then shoves it at mineo to show him something. ]
[ . . . . . to his credit - he does pause just enough to try to read the message, even if it takes him a long moment to do so. his emotions are concerned and worried, but.
he moves to slip the phone back into takeru's pocket.]
Tomorrow.
[he feels like they have to hash things out between them, before they can even start working on decoding.... that.]
[ sheila, vira, and harrow, he means. but with the topic dropped, he'll turn his attention back to the window.
it really isn't shocking that he's angry. he's been mad since mineo originally announced his plan, and his anger only increased as trial progressed. even now, it's still there, but there's something a little calmer over it. mechanical, almost. ]
[if there's more to discuss. he listens, and understands, but - even with the chaos of everything happening, he's not going to pretend that it matters to him more than whatever takeru's feeling. the dead can wait one more day.
. . . . ]
Sheila-san said I have to say sorry to you. [he. did not continue wearing the clown nose. but.] Is that even what you want to hear from me?
You know, I'm fine with you confessing at the end. Well-- I'd still prefer if you didn't, but I knew you would end up doing something like that. I was prepared.
[ his tone gets a little more bitter. ]
Vira wasn't going to get caught. Harrow was right, there were way too many powers that allowed people to change their appearance for hair to pin someone thoroughly. We could easily point out how stupid it was to leave a hat with your own hair in it, if it wasn't to mislead us.
But then you... you really don't know how to shut up.
[ . . . . he supposes that if anyone could predict what kind of complete headass thing mineo would do, it'd be takeru.
but he listens anyway and - the nervousness lingers. the fear. the uncertainty. they start to trickle back in even as he listens to takeru and... further away from it, mineo knows it's clearer. his own feelings were going haywire in the middle of trial, and he simply was not remotely intelligent enough to stop them.
even still.]
.... yeah.
[just - a resigned acknowledgement.]
.... I wanted to believe in the no vote. But... just in case it didn't work - I wanted to be the only name people had.
[and that is his stubbornness, and his stupidity.]
It would have been better if they had no name. I said we had time.
[ they had so much time they didn't even know what to do with it, at the end. gojou criticized them for not filling in some blank space, but what type of discussion would have occurred when everyone was waiting to see if the no vote succeeded or not?
he's annoyed at so many things. ]
But another thing that's been made clear is just... you really don't trust me to handle something. The second you questioned openly where the bullet was, even after you said I could try to help.
that - didn't occur to him at all. it makes him pause, surprised at the suggestion. they butt heads, in a pretty severe way, and he hadn't even realized what offense he'd caused. there are probably only so many ways that a person can feel guilty in one day but... today mineo's feeling all of them.]
.... I do trust you. More than anything, or anyone else.
[ . . . ]
I'm sorry.
That was wrong of me. Even if it was because I was panicking, I - .... I should've let you handle it, like I said I would.
'that's all' he says - when mineo feels like he's committed one of the worst sins of all. the emotional reverb probably hits in the way that mineo's own heart breaks at takeru's pain, realizing that he caused it, that his own recklessness was what inspired any doubt in that whatsoever.
there's hesitation - like he's not sure if he even deserves a chance to fix this - before he reaches out to try to take takeru's hand in his.]
.... I don't expect you to forgive me tonight - I don't expect you to forgive me at all until I work for it.
[if he's being honest, but he does try to hold takeru's hand between both of his own, bringing it closer to him]
But - making you doubt how much I trust you, or how much I believe in you as my partner is... the stupidest thing I've done here. And I've been such an idiot here.
[there's a flare of anger but - it really is directed entirely at himself, especially now]
.... I wouldn't have gotten anywhere without you. I'm sorry, and I'll do better if you'll still have me.
[ he will make that clear, at least. he can't see himself not being angry for a while, considering the smallest things just renew his anger. and takeru has always been so terribly spiteful, and one to hold grudges. it's more of a surprise if he actually lets something go instead of holding onto it.
he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. ]
I held a bullet that killed someone for you.
[ he reopens his eyes, and looks directly at mineo. ]
I wouldn't do that just for anyone. Remember that.
[any other answer would've been a surprise - mineo imagines he has a lot to work on, for a long while, in order to be able to make this up for takeru. he doesn't seem to worry too excessively about that, like he's prepared to work for as long as it takes.
but he hears what takeru says next and feels only a downpour of gratitude and - affection almost feels too light a word. devotion, maybe.
he brings takeru's hand up, still held between mineo's own, just so he can press a kiss to the back of his hand. presumably the hand that held a bullet that mineo shot at someone, and let it go back out to sea.]
.... I know.
I made a lot of trouble for you. I'll probably keep making a lot of trouble in the future - though hopefully less stupid trouble, or trouble that hurts you.
But... I'll do everything I can to make up for it. Every time. A thousand times over. I promise.
[ it's still complicated, and his emotions are so strained at the moment. takeru had expected he would have yelled a lot more than this, but then again, he was rather nasty at trial and then got to spend some time... well. not cooling off, exactly, but it was still time between then and now.
he's just tired, and disappointed, but mineo is holding his hand right now and there's no execution tomorrow. they can keep going for another day. ]
[he's prepared. if there's anything that he's prepared for, it's whatever expectations takeru has of him, and trying to do his best for him whenever he can... including making up for the times that his best isn't good enough.
he lets go of takeru's hand with one of his own, immediately reaching out for him - before hesitating.]
... do I have permission to hold onto you?
[he just
would also understand if takeru was mad enough that mineo doesn't have permission to touch him but. he wants to.]
then it's the fairly automatic way that mineo moves to wrap his arm around takeru, encouraging him closer to him until he's forced onto mineo's lap. what a weird relationship they have - enough for people to speculate, but not enough to cement anything. yet mineo can't deny that he just wants takeru close, finds comfort through the touch in a way that's difficult to describe.
but the first kiss that he gives him is still tentative, unsure of what he's allowed to ask for or claim, given everything that he'd done. it's just his lips pressing lightly against takeru's jaw, even as his emotions bend themselves to something more grateful and relieved.]
.... thank you.
For trying to protect me in your own way, even though I was too stupid to see it.
[ he makes a sound of acknowledgment, not really sure what to do with the gratitude.
it really is strange, what an emotional rollercoaster this past week has been. he could say the same for every week, but... something shifted over the last few days, even if takeru isn't entirely sure if that's a good thing or not, or what it's even shifting to.
he doesn't know what will happen tomorrow, or the next week, and they still have to figure out the deal with the monster. but he allows himself this moment to be close to another person. ]
.... I was a little worse than usual these past few days. [to say the least.] And you brought to my attention that I made one of the worst mistakes of my life today, so I've gotta do everything I can to make up for that for a while.
[he really does take the partner thing seriously.
. . . . though he's had some time to process everything else. even with the chaos of his emotions, they aren't as pronounced as they were immediately following trial, like a few good conversations were enough to heal him up a little bit. not enough - because it's still far too soon - but... a nonzero amount.]
... I'll talk to Sloth-san. I'll tell you how it goes. I really will see if I can find a way to make this all worth it, for the both of us.
... which is weird to say, when he can still feel this anger that's ebbing away in him, ready to have sparks of manifesting again with more rage. yet, despite that, he can still say that mineo is someone important.
casually commandeers takeru's argument and makes it his own. shameless and immediately because - he barely cares about other things at this point. he hates this monster, he hates waiting to have their wishes granted possibly by the same monster, he hates... so much. but he also knows that some things are necessities and they mostly revolve around takeru's wellbeing and then his own.
but he'll rest his head on takeru's shoulder as he looks at him]
... choosing to prioritize you isn't something I'm going to say sorry for.
... just wait until Tuesday before doing anything stupid.
[ he knows that it being possible might be a stretch to begin with, but he'd at least want to wait before mineo made an attempt. funny, how he keeps asking him to wait today.
[though he can't promise he won't explore the possibility. and... it's probably a little silly, how even after a murder trial where takeru went above and beyond to try to keep mineo from even getting suspected, how hearing that he needs him alive makes such a difference to him. there's a little warm pocket in his heart as he presses his face into his shoulder]
.... I'm alive.
[he'll move to take one of takeru's hands again then, letting it to come rest over mineo's heart - still beating]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
week 6, post-trial
it takes a little while for mineo to pick himself up, and to start walking. it takes him a little while longer still to realize, after a few rooms, that he's looking for something even if he can't quite put his finger on it. it doesn't really dawn on him until he walks into the airport and catches sight of takeru, and then there's just the brief realization of, 'oh, right, i would be looking for you.'
. . . . the sense of fear probably gives him away first, but he does start to walk toward him. mineo is still feeling plenty of things (uncertainty, guilt, resignation) but at least for the moment the feeling that wins out is worry.]
... Takeru.
no subject
takeru doesn't really look at mineo, but the change in his posture does indicate that he knows he's there; he tenses, and then forces his shoulders to relax.
and then he digs into his pocket, and pulls out his phone. he opens it, and then shoves it at mineo to show him something. ]
no subject
he moves to slip the phone back into takeru's pocket.]
Tomorrow.
[he feels like they have to hash things out between them, before they can even start working on decoding.... that.]
no subject
[ sheila, vira, and harrow, he means. but with the topic dropped, he'll turn his attention back to the window.
it really isn't shocking that he's angry. he's been mad since mineo originally announced his plan, and his anger only increased as trial progressed. even now, it's still there, but there's something a little calmer over it. mechanical, almost. ]
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[if there's more to discuss. he listens, and understands, but - even with the chaos of everything happening, he's not going to pretend that it matters to him more than whatever takeru's feeling. the dead can wait one more day.
. . . . ]
Sheila-san said I have to say sorry to you. [he. did not continue wearing the clown nose. but.] Is that even what you want to hear from me?
no subject
[ his tone gets a little more bitter. ]
Vira wasn't going to get caught. Harrow was right, there were way too many powers that allowed people to change their appearance for hair to pin someone thoroughly. We could easily point out how stupid it was to leave a hat with your own hair in it, if it wasn't to mislead us.
But then you... you really don't know how to shut up.
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but he listens anyway and - the nervousness lingers. the fear. the uncertainty. they start to trickle back in even as he listens to takeru and... further away from it, mineo knows it's clearer. his own feelings were going haywire in the middle of trial, and he simply was not remotely intelligent enough to stop them.
even still.]
.... yeah.
[just - a resigned acknowledgement.]
.... I wanted to believe in the no vote. But... just in case it didn't work - I wanted to be the only name people had.
[and that is his stubbornness, and his stupidity.]
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[ they had so much time they didn't even know what to do with it, at the end. gojou criticized them for not filling in some blank space, but what type of discussion would have occurred when everyone was waiting to see if the no vote succeeded or not?
he's annoyed at so many things. ]
But another thing that's been made clear is just... you really don't trust me to handle something. The second you questioned openly where the bullet was, even after you said I could try to help.
no subject
that - didn't occur to him at all. it makes him pause, surprised at the suggestion. they butt heads, in a pretty severe way, and he hadn't even realized what offense he'd caused. there are probably only so many ways that a person can feel guilty in one day but... today mineo's feeling all of them.]
.... I do trust you. More than anything, or anyone else.
[ . . . ]
I'm sorry.
That was wrong of me. Even if it was because I was panicking, I - .... I should've let you handle it, like I said I would.
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[ there's something pained in the way he says the word, like it's far heavier than it should be. ]
That's all.
[ he turns his attention back to the window. ]
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'that's all' he says - when mineo feels like he's committed one of the worst sins of all. the emotional reverb probably hits in the way that mineo's own heart breaks at takeru's pain, realizing that he caused it, that his own recklessness was what inspired any doubt in that whatsoever.
there's hesitation - like he's not sure if he even deserves a chance to fix this - before he reaches out to try to take takeru's hand in his.]
... Takeru. Look at me.
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What is it?
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[if he's being honest, but he does try to hold takeru's hand between both of his own, bringing it closer to him]
But - making you doubt how much I trust you, or how much I believe in you as my partner is... the stupidest thing I've done here. And I've been such an idiot here.
[there's a flare of anger but - it really is directed entirely at himself, especially now]
.... I wouldn't have gotten anywhere without you. I'm sorry, and I'll do better if you'll still have me.
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[ he will make that clear, at least. he can't see himself not being angry for a while, considering the smallest things just renew his anger. and takeru has always been so terribly spiteful, and one to hold grudges. it's more of a surprise if he actually lets something go instead of holding onto it.
he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. ]
I held a bullet that killed someone for you.
[ he reopens his eyes, and looks directly at mineo. ]
I wouldn't do that just for anyone. Remember that.
no subject
but he hears what takeru says next and feels only a downpour of gratitude and - affection almost feels too light a word. devotion, maybe.
he brings takeru's hand up, still held between mineo's own, just so he can press a kiss to the back of his hand. presumably the hand that held a bullet that mineo shot at someone, and let it go back out to sea.]
.... I know.
I made a lot of trouble for you. I'll probably keep making a lot of trouble in the future - though hopefully less stupid trouble, or trouble that hurts you.
But... I'll do everything I can to make up for it. Every time. A thousand times over. I promise.
no subject
[ it's still complicated, and his emotions are so strained at the moment. takeru had expected he would have yelled a lot more than this, but then again, he was rather nasty at trial and then got to spend some time... well. not cooling off, exactly, but it was still time between then and now.
he's just tired, and disappointed, but mineo is holding his hand right now and there's no execution tomorrow. they can keep going for another day. ]
I'll hold you to that.
no subject
[he's prepared. if there's anything that he's prepared for, it's whatever expectations takeru has of him, and trying to do his best for him whenever he can... including making up for the times that his best isn't good enough.
he lets go of takeru's hand with one of his own, immediately reaching out for him - before hesitating.]
... do I have permission to hold onto you?
[he just
would also understand if takeru was mad enough that mineo doesn't have permission to touch him but. he wants to.]
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genuinely has to sit and think about this question. ]
You can.
[ the relief that mineo isn't going to die tomorrow wins out. ]
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then it's the fairly automatic way that mineo moves to wrap his arm around takeru, encouraging him closer to him until he's forced onto mineo's lap. what a weird relationship they have - enough for people to speculate, but not enough to cement anything. yet mineo can't deny that he just wants takeru close, finds comfort through the touch in a way that's difficult to describe.
but the first kiss that he gives him is still tentative, unsure of what he's allowed to ask for or claim, given everything that he'd done. it's just his lips pressing lightly against takeru's jaw, even as his emotions bend themselves to something more grateful and relieved.]
.... thank you.
For trying to protect me in your own way, even though I was too stupid to see it.
no subject
it really is strange, what an emotional rollercoaster this past week has been. he could say the same for every week, but... something shifted over the last few days, even if takeru isn't entirely sure if that's a good thing or not, or what it's even shifting to.
he doesn't know what will happen tomorrow, or the next week, and they still have to figure out the deal with the monster. but he allows himself this moment to be close to another person. ]
You're always stupid.
no subject
[he really does take the partner thing seriously.
. . . . though he's had some time to process everything else. even with the chaos of his emotions, they aren't as pronounced as they were immediately following trial, like a few good conversations were enough to heal him up a little bit. not enough - because it's still far too soon - but... a nonzero amount.]
... I'll talk to Sloth-san. I'll tell you how it goes. I really will see if I can find a way to make this all worth it, for the both of us.
no subject
[ he's too invested in this idiot.
... which is weird to say, when he can still feel this anger that's ebbing away in him, ready to have sparks of manifesting again with more rage. yet, despite that, he can still say that mineo is someone important.
just. very... very important. ]
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[just
casually commandeers takeru's argument and makes it his own. shameless and immediately because - he barely cares about other things at this point. he hates this monster, he hates waiting to have their wishes granted possibly by the same monster, he hates... so much. but he also knows that some things are necessities and they mostly revolve around takeru's wellbeing and then his own.
but he'll rest his head on takeru's shoulder as he looks at him]
... choosing to prioritize you isn't something I'm going to say sorry for.
no subject
[ he knows that it being possible might be a stretch to begin with, but he'd at least want to wait before mineo made an attempt. funny, how he keeps asking him to wait today.
... ]
Just remember that I need you alive.
no subject
[though he can't promise he won't explore the possibility. and... it's probably a little silly, how even after a murder trial where takeru went above and beyond to try to keep mineo from even getting suspected, how hearing that he needs him alive makes such a difference to him. there's a little warm pocket in his heart as he presses his face into his shoulder]
.... I'm alive.
[he'll move to take one of takeru's hands again then, letting it to come rest over mineo's heart - still beating]
Still alive.
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