[ . . . . there's an impulse to reach for takeru before he can get too far, and mineo sits up to follow it, reaches out a hand - before he just. drops it again. looks at his own traitorous hand.
[he is pouting though. he seems torn on what to do now but. his compromise is just that he's going to put his head on takeru's shoulder because he's also exhausted]
[ . . . . that sure is a loaded suggestion, when mineo doesn't even know what the answer is. there's an immediately torn feeling because - by now, he's so comfortable with kissing takeru. it's warm, and it bothers him how much he already misses being on the receiving end of a surprise kiss.
but it's getting complicated. and mineo owes other people answers and honesty, and his own ideals of love are getting a little twisted by this place. yet even after he's giving so much...
he reaches for takeru's hand to pull him closer again.]
... restraint won't really get us anywhere here.
[in the literal indulgence center, when giving in to the things that they want to do, even (or especially?) if they might be complicated, is ultimately what they're supposed to do]
... we're partners. We can handle complicated, can't we?
[ because he knows how important it is for mineo; he's already had to sacrifice so many of his ideals, and takeru doesn't really want to force another one out of his hands.
[ . . . . he shakes his head at that then, and seems to settle on something - ]
What would the point be? If I lose you once we go back home, because I held back here?
[a lot of it is context. a lot of it is the fact that they need to indulge for points and takeru was uncomfortably behind - even if he's hopefully not anymore. mineo has felt fine, giving him more and more of himself, and it would feel wrong to go back on that.]
... Loyalty is something important to me too.
[he leans down then, pressing a kiss to takeru's forehead]
.... whenever we get home, we'll have to figure things out. I'll want to - I don't know, talk it through? Do things right. [whatever that means, whoever that's with]
But I'd never regret a choice I made, if it's for you.
[ it's very funny, considering how mad he was-- or, well. still is. even when mineo apologized, takeru couldn't say that he forgives him because he doesn't yet. but it's amazing, how despite anger and bitterness, that something just a little kinder can overshadow it enough to bring you to this current situation.
(it's a sentiment he tries to not put much thought into, because it's one he had before and nothing really came from it.)
but, for now, it's enough to keep him warm, and enough to make him move to hold onto mineo. ]
We'll see. We need to get through here first.
[ it's something that they keep repeating, but they also just keep adding more meaning to the words. ]
[there's something so painfully honest in the warmth and fondness that even just takeru holding onto mineo evokes. it's enough to prompt him to bring takeru closer, back into his lap even though he just left it, purely because there's a wish to keep him close. he dips his head to nuzzle his face against his automatically, finding indulgence in the simple sincerity of the action, adoring and soft.]
One more week. We'll just have to make sure it counts.
[whatever that means.]
... you really keep pushing and pulling me around, you know?
[gently exasperated, but - there's nothing in mineo's feelings that suggest he plans on leaving over it]
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[he's fine not being takeru's type
though he. seems to catch himself a bit here and just... frowns...]
... why am I getting so worked up over this...
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Why are you, indeed...
[ it's said softly, but he'll go to roll out of mineo's lap. ]
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hm.
hmmmm.]
.... this got complicated.
[IS HE JUST NOW REALIZING]
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[ he is
so exhausted. ]
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[he is pouting though. he seems torn on what to do now but. his compromise is just that he's going to put his head on takeru's shoulder because he's also exhausted]
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We can stop.
[ hooking up, he means. ]
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Stop what? Am I already doing something you don't want?
[he's not reaching that hooking up conclusion on his own]
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[ he knows mineo has a lot of opinions on the topic. ]
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... Is that what you want?
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[ i don't want to give or receive anything less. ]
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but it's getting complicated. and mineo owes other people answers and honesty, and his own ideals of love are getting a little twisted by this place. yet even after he's giving so much...
he reaches for takeru's hand to pull him closer again.]
... restraint won't really get us anywhere here.
[in the literal indulgence center, when giving in to the things that they want to do, even (or especially?) if they might be complicated, is ultimately what they're supposed to do]
... we're partners. We can handle complicated, can't we?
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[ because he knows how important it is for mineo; he's already had to sacrifice so many of his ideals, and takeru doesn't really want to force another one out of his hands.
he goes with the pull, settling against mineo. ]
I don't want to push you too far.
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What would the point be? If I lose you once we go back home, because I held back here?
[a lot of it is context. a lot of it is the fact that they need to indulge for points and takeru was uncomfortably behind - even if he's hopefully not anymore. mineo has felt fine, giving him more and more of himself, and it would feel wrong to go back on that.]
... Loyalty is something important to me too.
[he leans down then, pressing a kiss to takeru's forehead]
.... whenever we get home, we'll have to figure things out. I'll want to - I don't know, talk it through? Do things right. [whatever that means, whoever that's with]
But I'd never regret a choice I made, if it's for you.
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(it's a sentiment he tries to not put much thought into, because it's one he had before and nothing really came from it.)
but, for now, it's enough to keep him warm, and enough to make him move to hold onto mineo. ]
We'll see. We need to get through here first.
[ it's something that they keep repeating, but they also just keep adding more meaning to the words. ]
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One more week. We'll just have to make sure it counts.
[whatever that means.]
... you really keep pushing and pulling me around, you know?
[gently exasperated, but - there's nothing in mineo's feelings that suggest he plans on leaving over it]
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[ he admits to it so easily, because he knows he's a pain in the ass even when things aren't as murky as they are for them.
but takeru will just sit in the hold, wondering how exactly they made it to this point after everything else that has happened with them. ]
You can't mind that much.
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[he's going to get his ass killed for real now and it won't even be from the vote
but he does kiss takeru's cheek after as if trying to bribe him]
Even though I really do prefer when you treat me nicely....
[that wasn't a lie during trial. he has worked so hard to get affection and acceptance from takeru and he enjoys so much of it]
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he just reaches out so he can grab mineo's nose and squeeze it. ]
I'm always nice to you.
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Don't just tell lies so boldly!
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[ he is
not letting go ]
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[still trying to lean back and away!!]
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[ he is still not letting go. ]
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Do you still need to speak to anyone?
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