[hey takeru, remember how you told mineo not to freak out. he's pretty clearly freaking out. he's opening the door and it's probably near instant - the anxiety, the uncertainty, the worry, he really does feel so much.
underneath it there's the regular pulse of stubbornness, the refusal to give in or accept anything other than what he wants.
and he just sighs as he closes the door - the feelings quiet down as he decides first to get business]
.... before we talk about this -
Gu-san suggested to me that Childe saved himself, his own life. So it's not like there's a greater meaning in it, it's just prolonging some of the inevitable. I don't know how far that knowledge has gone, but...
[takeru seemed unhappy that mineo didn't report right away that he knew who killed mahito, so.]
[ takeru, meanwhile, is fairly calm about it? granted, he waited a bit before texting mineo. still, when he feels everything that mineo is... there's a jolt of surprise, before he tries to shove that down. ]
They really didn't. We'll - figure out what to do about it, but I think if everything was planned this far ahead.... we can't really wait for him to strike first. I'll ask Endorsi to use her power on him.
[and he.... really hopes that if anyone will listen to him, it'll be her. but there is a certain... resolved feeling? as well. like he's come to a decision.
but he'll gesture for takeru to follow him up to the loft afterward]
Oh. Well... we might have another power option. Sheila got something that we could probably use, but she has to speak to him before curfew hits for it to work apparently. I'm waiting for more details.
[ there's a pause and he'll follow up after mineo. ]
I think I'll try to take the guard shift for Thursday, so I can go with her.
[to exactly figure out what that all is. but he'll shift gears, because they need to figure out all of that childe mess later. instead he's just gonna sit on the bed and reach for takeru's hand.
the anxiety comes back, the uncertainty. the vague feeling that someone might slip out of your grasp.]
[ . . . well. he's flustered at that because it's not like he can deny that, but it's at least short-lived even as he encourages takeru closer, pulling on his hand and the other arm looping around his hips so he can sit with mineo on his lap.
(there is a sense of muffled desperation - like he wants to keep takeru close while he can, in whatever sense that means.)]
[ it's muttered, and he rests his head against mineo as he thinks.
there's frustration, that he's not doing enough and that others are ahead of him. and a bit of embarrassment that he even has to ask others for help. he was fine with admitting it at the meeting yesterday, but now that he knows he failed to get it again, it settles differently. ]
If every Avatar has a floor, we might be expected to just - hang out here until we reach all the floors. So we have one more, right? You'll have this week and next.
[though if takeru's getting comfortable, mineo will hesitate for just a second before pressing a kiss to the side of his head. it feels weird, like he's not sure how affectionate he's allowed to be. or how much he should even be allowed to feel this way? but, the wish to reassure takeru however he can wins out.
he interlaces their fingers, his other arm curling around him to keep him close]
.... we can figure it out. We asked at the beginning right - if there's a way to make sure that everyone can get their wishes? If that's still true, and it's just dividing up how much people've indulged total...
I think you've already been doing whatever you can, stupid.
[ mineo has been doing a lot more than expected, honestly? even the allowance of the first hickey was a genuine surprise to takeru, and look where they are now.
he opens his mouth to speak, but only a strangled noise comes out. he closes it, tries again to the same effect, and just gradually gets more red as the seconds tick on. until he just. buries his face in takeru's shoulder which solves nothing because by this point he's blushing to the tips of his ears, enough to match the color of his hair.
the overwhelming embarrassment (and like. contemplation? like he's trying to figure out if he could survive through it?)]
he jolts a little when he gets a kiss, out of both surprise and a little bit of fear (please there has been so much horny), before he turns his head to face takeru. he hasn't stopped blushing. but.]
[he leans into the kiss but - aside from that, he hesitates. he falters, and it's clear that he's not entirely sure what he should say. it's a tangle of emotions - uncertainty, concern, longing, protectiveness, frustration, and more than anything, a desire to be useful.
he rests his forehead against takeru's instead of allowing the space.]
... you need your wish, right? There's no guarantee you'll stay [where I can reach you] without it.
[ . . . . it's a little funny - because most of the emotions that mineo feels can normally be read rather easily on his face. he's expressive, and painfully easy to harass. but there are some things that he keeps quiet about, that he smothers with everything he has.
like the stab of hurt that comes with that - with knowing that he still hasn't done enough to avoid being cast aside.]
... even if I follow you, that's not enough to get you to rely on me instead of them?
[instead of running to the same terrorist organization that killed him?]
You know, every week that someone kills here and I don't, I always wonder if that means my resolve is weak. Should I be doing more? Shouldn't I also kill someone to guarantee my wish? How weak am I that I won't go that far...
[ he's torn. there's a pang of something, regret, and shame that he's even thinking of this, and just exhaustion. ]
But then I remember that if I do that, and then caught, I won't have a chance to get what I want. The idea of losing any chance at all just to give me more points isn't worth it.
[ it's not what mineo had asked, but it's evident this is something takeru has been thinking about for a while. ]
[he didn't know. and maybe there is a little bit of a regret of his own - that there is something that takeru was struggling with, but mineo didn't realize. he doesn't stop takeru from pulling away, but he holds onto his hand, keeping their fingers interlaced out of pure stubbornness.
but the concern wins out.]
.... It's not weakness to decide to not kill someone. It's not strength to decide to do it either.
[and it - bothers him. he wonders if the two of them are always going to disagree with this, based on their experience.]
.... but I'm not going to pretend that I care about your wish more than I care about you. I know why you want it. I... I don't really have any right to stop you from getting it.
[which - inspires a different conflict for him. one that pits his desire to stop criminals against his instinct to make anything that hurt takeru bleed. still, he can't help the flare of frustration.]
But you don't need Adonis if it doesn't work out here.
It's not just a matter of me finding him. It's that I literally can't reach him. It's the kind of situation where you need something really outside of the law to get someone else really outside of the law.
[ there's a spike of anger, just pure rage at the idea that he can't touch someone so horrible. there's also an underlying despair, at how impossible this goal might be. ]
He was off the grid for so long, Mineo. But Adonis knows where he is right now, and if I miss that chance, I don't know if I'll ever have another one.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
week 6, tuesday
But I didn't get an item. Harrow did.
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My room
[he's not leaving a lot of room for argument]
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[ but he'll show up shortly after and knock. ]
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underneath it there's the regular pulse of stubbornness, the refusal to give in or accept anything other than what he wants.
and he just sighs as he closes the door - the feelings quiet down as he decides first to get business]
.... before we talk about this -
Gu-san suggested to me that Childe saved himself, his own life. So it's not like there's a greater meaning in it, it's just prolonging some of the inevitable. I don't know how far that knowledge has gone, but...
[takeru seemed unhappy that mineo didn't report right away that he knew who killed mahito, so.]
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Funny. No one wanted him around after all.
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[and he.... really hopes that if anyone will listen to him, it'll be her. but there is a certain... resolved feeling? as well. like he's come to a decision.
but he'll gesture for takeru to follow him up to the loft afterward]
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[ there's a pause and he'll follow up after mineo. ]
So. You want to talk?
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I think I'll try to take the guard shift for Thursday, so I can go with her.
[to exactly figure out what that all is. but he'll shift gears, because they need to figure out all of that childe mess later. instead he's just gonna sit on the bed and reach for takeru's hand.
the anxiety comes back, the uncertainty. the vague feeling that someone might slip out of your grasp.]
.... what do you need from me?
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[ there's a pause.
he'll walk a little more forward, so that his other hand can drape over mineo's shoulder as takeru looks at him. ]
You've been helping a lot.
[ there's something a little worrying that can be felt from him, the first real clue that it's bothering him, but he still smiles regardless. ]
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(there is a sense of muffled desperation - like he wants to keep takeru close while he can, in whatever sense that means.)]
.... but you're not sure if it's enough?
[because he can feel that worry too.]
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[ it's muttered, and he rests his head against mineo as he thinks.
there's frustration, that he's not doing enough and that others are ahead of him. and a bit of embarrassment that he even has to ask others for help. he was fine with admitting it at the meeting yesterday, but now that he knows he failed to get it again, it settles differently. ]
And how much more time we have.
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If every Avatar has a floor, we might be expected to just - hang out here until we reach all the floors. So we have one more, right? You'll have this week and next.
[though if takeru's getting comfortable, mineo will hesitate for just a second before pressing a kiss to the side of his head. it feels weird, like he's not sure how affectionate he's allowed to be. or how much he should even be allowed to feel this way? but, the wish to reassure takeru however he can wins out.
he interlaces their fingers, his other arm curling around him to keep him close]
.... we can figure it out. We asked at the beginning right - if there's a way to make sure that everyone can get their wishes? If that's still true, and it's just dividing up how much people've indulged total...
I'll do whatever I have to, to get your wish too.
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[ mineo has been doing a lot more than expected, honestly? even the allowance of the first hickey was a genuine surprise to takeru, and look where they are now.
he goes quiet for a few seconds. ]
I guess we can try whipped cream.
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For?
[SURELY
TAKERU CAN'T MEAN,,,,]
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delighted amusement ]
You have an imagination.
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he opens his mouth to speak, but only a strangled noise comes out. he closes it, tries again to the same effect, and just gradually gets more red as the seconds tick on. until he just. buries his face in takeru's shoulder which solves nothing because by this point he's blushing to the tips of his ears, enough to match the color of his hair.
the overwhelming embarrassment (and like. contemplation? like he's trying to figure out if he could survive through it?)]
Oh my god.
[TAKERU IS SO HORNY HE CAN'T KEEP UP]
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he presses a kiss against mineo's neck. ]
I'll remember to bring a can for later.
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he jolts a little when he gets a kiss, out of both surprise and a little bit of fear (please there has been so much horny), before he turns his head to face takeru. he hasn't stopped blushing. but.]
T-Takeru, I'm trying to be serious...!
[clearly mixed results]
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and then sighs, pulling back a bit to look at mineo properly. ]
I'm fine with whatever you want to do.
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he rests his forehead against takeru's instead of allowing the space.]
... you need your wish, right? There's no guarantee you'll stay [where I can reach you] without it.
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[ there's a tired resignation, just a confirmation that he really is ready to drop everything and run if he needs to.
... ]
I need it.
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like the stab of hurt that comes with that - with knowing that he still hasn't done enough to avoid being cast aside.]
... even if I follow you, that's not enough to get you to rely on me instead of them?
[instead of running to the same terrorist organization that killed him?]
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[ he pulls away. ]
You know, every week that someone kills here and I don't, I always wonder if that means my resolve is weak. Should I be doing more? Shouldn't I also kill someone to guarantee my wish? How weak am I that I won't go that far...
[ he's torn. there's a pang of something, regret, and shame that he's even thinking of this, and just exhaustion. ]
But then I remember that if I do that, and then caught, I won't have a chance to get what I want. The idea of losing any chance at all just to give me more points isn't worth it.
[ it's not what mineo had asked, but it's evident this is something takeru has been thinking about for a while. ]
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but the concern wins out.]
.... It's not weakness to decide to not kill someone. It's not strength to decide to do it either.
[and it - bothers him. he wonders if the two of them are always going to disagree with this, based on their experience.]
.... but I'm not going to pretend that I care about your wish more than I care about you. I know why you want it. I... I don't really have any right to stop you from getting it.
[which - inspires a different conflict for him. one that pits his desire to stop criminals against his instinct to make anything that hurt takeru bleed. still, he can't help the flare of frustration.]
But you don't need Adonis if it doesn't work out here.
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[ his grip on mineo's hand tightens. ]
It's not just a matter of me finding him. It's that I literally can't reach him. It's the kind of situation where you need something really outside of the law to get someone else really outside of the law.
[ there's a spike of anger, just pure rage at the idea that he can't touch someone so horrible. there's also an underlying despair, at how impossible this goal might be. ]
He was off the grid for so long, Mineo. But Adonis knows where he is right now, and if I miss that chance, I don't know if I'll ever have another one.
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