If it threatened you one more time, I probably would've broken it a day early.
[he probably admits that a little too fast, a little too angrily
the funny thing is that the only reason why mineo didn't is because shooting his gun in the first place would've probably caused takeru trauma. but he thought it like six times.]
... I'm not gonna let anything get you, Takeru. If there's anything I've - I don't know, figured out this week, it's that.
it's more than a little uncomfortable, but he can't really hide at this point his thing with guns. if anyone actually murdered someone here with one, his mood would be so horrible. and out of everyone, he didn't expect mineo to get this much out of him. ]
[it's easy - to insult takeru, to complain when he gets dunked on, and to tell other people that they aren't all that close. those things are true. even now, he feels like he's still missing some pretty big pieces of the puzzle.
but - ]
I'm not exactly jumping to say sappy shit to you, but you disappeared this week and came back injured - and then some piece of scrap metal tries to—
I care about you, you asshole. I wanna make sure that you're as okay as anyone can be in this hellhole. That matters to me way more than I ever thought it would. So yeah I'll stress myself out about it because I'll lose it if something happened to you.
[and sure he sounds frustrated about it - but getting them to say anything nice to each other is like pulling teeth in general. it's probably because he's aggravated enough that he's even saying anything this directly.]
[ it doesn't make that much sense to him, but at the same time it does.
because in the end, they all came here to get their wish, so in theory their top priority should be to make sure that gets granted above all else. it's what one would expect.
on the other, takeru understands the feeling of wanting to keep someone safe, even if it hurts you.
there are other people who deserve that level of kindness more. ]
[ . . . . he sighs at that because - it's an answer that he expected. it's one that makes sense, given that it's takeru.]
I know you will. I don't doubt that.
[takeru is smart and capable, in ways that mineo isn't. aside from being physically trained in self-defense, he's better than mineo in pretty much every other way that matters.
even still.]
... I'm just asking you to let me help. I don't care if I have to be used or lied to.
[because takeru, at least, he trusts enough that it wouldn't be done out of cruelty or actual malice.]
his immediate response is to reject it. he's always done better alone, and even accepting yanagi's offer to join the agency was a difficult decision to make. although they still worked fairly separately, it was still depending on other people and being around them on a regular basis, and knowing that if he stepped out of that circle, he'd be cut out from what he wanted to accomplish.
takeru has that same feeling now, but with more uncertainty. this isn't just agreeing to work with mineo; it's agreeing to a very specific vulnerability even if he won't outright say what it is. his pride isn't the only thing that's being cut into.
but, during trial, he did let mineo take him away. that probably means something, maybe. ]
Fine. But if it ever becomes a thing of it's either me or you, always choose yourself.
[mineo is so achingly honest, even if he doesn't want to be.
because he's different from takeru - perhaps alarmingly so. at the suggestion of ever having to choose between the two of them, he hesitates. in a place where his life is on the line for the sake of a wish, he should be ambitious enough to agree.
he isn't.]
... I don't know if I can, but I can try. [and maybe that's the wrong answer, but the idea of lying to takeru is difficult.] And I don't expect your answer to be the same as mine.
But I'd rather see it as like... well, partners. [and he looks hesitant to use the word - but he doesn't know what other one to reach for] Where your interests are the same as mine. And maybe later it'll come up but -
Until I absolutely have to make a choice, I don't want to say that I'll betray you or leave you behind.
[ . . . . mineo gets enough of a sense that this is getting close to something that takeru has no intention of sharing - and he's tried to pry into his privacy too fast before. not to mention he's already had a difficult enough day.... so he doesn't push, but he does tilt his head momentarily in honest confusion.
why - why would takeru insist so much that mineo choose himself, when mineo's whole career is based on helping others?]
.... mm, I know. [about partners. a beat.] I do, too.
But I'll work harder if I have to, to meet yours.
[apparently this is his new thing to be stubborn about]
instead, there's a nod at mineo's agreement. it isn't exactly what takeru wanted; although he isn't entirely sure what he wanted out of this in the first place. if things went his way, they wouldn't be having this conversation at all.
but here they are, so far away from normal life and surrounded by a lot of probable serial killers. ]
[things are decidedly not going to be going takeru's way for the foreseeable future - but at least for now, mineo will accept this. it feels like they got a little closer to - .... something.
. . . . something.]
.... you want a second by yourself then? Or do you want company?
[though admittedly - ]
I can shut up and just keep myself occupied, if you just don't want to talk anymore.
[everything didn't really go takeru's way so far and mineo forced them into a pretty vulnerable conversation!! . . . but he will try now to at least try to make some of that even.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I'm angry.
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[he's not even going to refer to hk-47 by name]
At everybody...?
[for the incompetence?
he thinks both are fair he just - doesn't know which one is consuming takeru worse right now]
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[ this trial was A Lot, for many different reasons. ]
Especially the robot.
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[ . . . ]
Sorry. I should've checked if it was even possible to leave and test before we talked about it.
[he was trying to keep the conversation away from takeru since it involved guns but
not well enough]
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[ ... ]
I just couldn't deal with the threats.
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[he probably admits that a little too fast, a little too angrily
the funny thing is that the only reason why mineo didn't is because shooting his gun in the first place would've probably caused takeru trauma. but he thought it like six times.]
... I'm not gonna let anything get you, Takeru. If there's anything I've - I don't know, figured out this week, it's that.
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it's more than a little uncomfortable, but he can't really hide at this point his thing with guns. if anyone actually murdered someone here with one, his mood would be so horrible. and out of everyone, he didn't expect mineo to get this much out of him. ]
Don't stress yourself out about that too much.
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[it's easy - to insult takeru, to complain when he gets dunked on, and to tell other people that they aren't all that close. those things are true. even now, he feels like he's still missing some pretty big pieces of the puzzle.
but - ]
I'm not exactly jumping to say sappy shit to you, but you disappeared this week and came back injured - and then some piece of scrap metal tries to—
I care about you, you asshole. I wanna make sure that you're as okay as anyone can be in this hellhole. That matters to me way more than I ever thought it would. So yeah I'll stress myself out about it because I'll lose it if something happened to you.
[and sure he sounds frustrated about it - but getting them to say anything nice to each other is like pulling teeth in general. it's probably because he's aggravated enough that he's even saying anything this directly.]
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because in the end, they all came here to get their wish, so in theory their top priority should be to make sure that gets granted above all else. it's what one would expect.
on the other, takeru understands the feeling of wanting to keep someone safe, even if it hurts you.
there are other people who deserve that level of kindness more. ]
Then I'll make sure nothing happens to me.
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I know you will. I don't doubt that.
[takeru is smart and capable, in ways that mineo isn't. aside from being physically trained in self-defense, he's better than mineo in pretty much every other way that matters.
even still.]
... I'm just asking you to let me help. I don't care if I have to be used or lied to.
[because takeru, at least, he trusts enough that it wouldn't be done out of cruelty or actual malice.]
It's not like you'd have anything to lose.
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his immediate response is to reject it. he's always done better alone, and even accepting yanagi's offer to join the agency was a difficult decision to make. although they still worked fairly separately, it was still depending on other people and being around them on a regular basis, and knowing that if he stepped out of that circle, he'd be cut out from what he wanted to accomplish.
takeru has that same feeling now, but with more uncertainty. this isn't just agreeing to work with mineo; it's agreeing to a very specific vulnerability even if he won't outright say what it is. his pride isn't the only thing that's being cut into.
but, during trial, he did let mineo take him away. that probably means something, maybe. ]
Fine. But if it ever becomes a thing of it's either me or you, always choose yourself.
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because he's different from takeru - perhaps alarmingly so. at the suggestion of ever having to choose between the two of them, he hesitates. in a place where his life is on the line for the sake of a wish, he should be ambitious enough to agree.
he isn't.]
... I don't know if I can, but I can try. [and maybe that's the wrong answer, but the idea of lying to takeru is difficult.] And I don't expect your answer to be the same as mine.
But I'd rather see it as like... well, partners. [and he looks hesitant to use the word - but he doesn't know what other one to reach for] Where your interests are the same as mine. And maybe later it'll come up but -
Until I absolutely have to make a choice, I don't want to say that I'll betray you or leave you behind.
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so he sighs, rubs his temple, and lets his hand drop back down to his side. ]
We'll see, of the time comes.
[ it looks like he's going to say something else, but then the moment passes. instead, ]
I have high standards for partners.
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[ . . . . mineo gets enough of a sense that this is getting close to something that takeru has no intention of sharing - and he's tried to pry into his privacy too fast before. not to mention he's already had a difficult enough day.... so he doesn't push, but he does tilt his head momentarily in honest confusion.
why - why would takeru insist so much that mineo choose himself, when mineo's whole career is based on helping others?]
.... mm, I know. [about partners. a beat.] I do, too.
But I'll work harder if I have to, to meet yours.
[apparently this is his new thing to be stubborn about]
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instead, there's a nod at mineo's agreement. it isn't exactly what takeru wanted; although he isn't entirely sure what he wanted out of this in the first place. if things went his way, they wouldn't be having this conversation at all.
but here they are, so far away from normal life and surrounded by a lot of probable serial killers. ]
Then that's all.
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. . . . something.]
.... you want a second by yourself then? Or do you want company?
[though admittedly - ]
I can shut up and just keep myself occupied, if you just don't want to talk anymore.
[everything didn't really go takeru's way so far and mineo forced them into a pretty vulnerable conversation!! . . . but he will try now to at least try to make some of that even.]
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[ so, basically, mineo can stay for now until takeru decides he can't be antisocial anymore and goes to do work. ]