his immediate response is to reject it. he's always done better alone, and even accepting yanagi's offer to join the agency was a difficult decision to make. although they still worked fairly separately, it was still depending on other people and being around them on a regular basis, and knowing that if he stepped out of that circle, he'd be cut out from what he wanted to accomplish.
takeru has that same feeling now, but with more uncertainty. this isn't just agreeing to work with mineo; it's agreeing to a very specific vulnerability even if he won't outright say what it is. his pride isn't the only thing that's being cut into.
but, during trial, he did let mineo take him away. that probably means something, maybe. ]
Fine. But if it ever becomes a thing of it's either me or you, always choose yourself.
[mineo is so achingly honest, even if he doesn't want to be.
because he's different from takeru - perhaps alarmingly so. at the suggestion of ever having to choose between the two of them, he hesitates. in a place where his life is on the line for the sake of a wish, he should be ambitious enough to agree.
he isn't.]
... I don't know if I can, but I can try. [and maybe that's the wrong answer, but the idea of lying to takeru is difficult.] And I don't expect your answer to be the same as mine.
But I'd rather see it as like... well, partners. [and he looks hesitant to use the word - but he doesn't know what other one to reach for] Where your interests are the same as mine. And maybe later it'll come up but -
Until I absolutely have to make a choice, I don't want to say that I'll betray you or leave you behind.
[ . . . . mineo gets enough of a sense that this is getting close to something that takeru has no intention of sharing - and he's tried to pry into his privacy too fast before. not to mention he's already had a difficult enough day.... so he doesn't push, but he does tilt his head momentarily in honest confusion.
why - why would takeru insist so much that mineo choose himself, when mineo's whole career is based on helping others?]
.... mm, I know. [about partners. a beat.] I do, too.
But I'll work harder if I have to, to meet yours.
[apparently this is his new thing to be stubborn about]
instead, there's a nod at mineo's agreement. it isn't exactly what takeru wanted; although he isn't entirely sure what he wanted out of this in the first place. if things went his way, they wouldn't be having this conversation at all.
but here they are, so far away from normal life and surrounded by a lot of probable serial killers. ]
[things are decidedly not going to be going takeru's way for the foreseeable future - but at least for now, mineo will accept this. it feels like they got a little closer to - .... something.
. . . . something.]
.... you want a second by yourself then? Or do you want company?
[though admittedly - ]
I can shut up and just keep myself occupied, if you just don't want to talk anymore.
[everything didn't really go takeru's way so far and mineo forced them into a pretty vulnerable conversation!! . . . but he will try now to at least try to make some of that even.]
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no subject
his immediate response is to reject it. he's always done better alone, and even accepting yanagi's offer to join the agency was a difficult decision to make. although they still worked fairly separately, it was still depending on other people and being around them on a regular basis, and knowing that if he stepped out of that circle, he'd be cut out from what he wanted to accomplish.
takeru has that same feeling now, but with more uncertainty. this isn't just agreeing to work with mineo; it's agreeing to a very specific vulnerability even if he won't outright say what it is. his pride isn't the only thing that's being cut into.
but, during trial, he did let mineo take him away. that probably means something, maybe. ]
Fine. But if it ever becomes a thing of it's either me or you, always choose yourself.
no subject
because he's different from takeru - perhaps alarmingly so. at the suggestion of ever having to choose between the two of them, he hesitates. in a place where his life is on the line for the sake of a wish, he should be ambitious enough to agree.
he isn't.]
... I don't know if I can, but I can try. [and maybe that's the wrong answer, but the idea of lying to takeru is difficult.] And I don't expect your answer to be the same as mine.
But I'd rather see it as like... well, partners. [and he looks hesitant to use the word - but he doesn't know what other one to reach for] Where your interests are the same as mine. And maybe later it'll come up but -
Until I absolutely have to make a choice, I don't want to say that I'll betray you or leave you behind.
no subject
so he sighs, rubs his temple, and lets his hand drop back down to his side. ]
We'll see, of the time comes.
[ it looks like he's going to say something else, but then the moment passes. instead, ]
I have high standards for partners.
no subject
[ . . . . mineo gets enough of a sense that this is getting close to something that takeru has no intention of sharing - and he's tried to pry into his privacy too fast before. not to mention he's already had a difficult enough day.... so he doesn't push, but he does tilt his head momentarily in honest confusion.
why - why would takeru insist so much that mineo choose himself, when mineo's whole career is based on helping others?]
.... mm, I know. [about partners. a beat.] I do, too.
But I'll work harder if I have to, to meet yours.
[apparently this is his new thing to be stubborn about]
no subject
instead, there's a nod at mineo's agreement. it isn't exactly what takeru wanted; although he isn't entirely sure what he wanted out of this in the first place. if things went his way, they wouldn't be having this conversation at all.
but here they are, so far away from normal life and surrounded by a lot of probable serial killers. ]
Then that's all.
no subject
. . . . something.]
.... you want a second by yourself then? Or do you want company?
[though admittedly - ]
I can shut up and just keep myself occupied, if you just don't want to talk anymore.
[everything didn't really go takeru's way so far and mineo forced them into a pretty vulnerable conversation!! . . . but he will try now to at least try to make some of that even.]
no subject
[ so, basically, mineo can stay for now until takeru decides he can't be antisocial anymore and goes to do work. ]