[ he raises an eyebrow. this is so exhausting. he just wanted to briefly make fun of mineo but now they're discussion feelings.
he should have expected this and yet ]
I'll figure something else out. I don't particularly care if you actually date them or what. I won't lie and say I'm invested in either Endorsi or White.
[ he does not like white at all and his opinion on endorsi is also low because she just keeps bringing up mineo ]
But, I won't be in the way of whatever the fuck you're doing. So I'll figure something else out.
.... I'm sure you'll be able to. [because takeru is resourceful and smart.]
But you can't be in the way of something that isn't happening, and doesn't matter for as long as we have wishes we need to accomplish.
[is mineo a romantic? yes. is he enough of a romantic that he'll put their wishes in jeopardy for it? no and that's how he's trying to use his last two braincells.]
I said I'd help you, and I'm taking that seriously. Whatever you need from me.
[takeru literally brought them on this topic??? but now it sure is a fucking test of who's more stubborn]
I don't think we should.
What - do you wanna try just seeing if napping in the middle of the day will count for your indulgences next week?
[he won't protest if they just. don't do slut-adjacent things anymore. but the idea of him being brushed away from helping takeru pisses him off a bit]
he's just going to reach out to catch takeru's wrist]
You can't just shut me out every time I say something you don't like - what even was it this time?! I thought I was making the most practical decision!
No, it is pretty practical. I'd applaud you for it, but you're rudely holding onto me at the moment?
[ give him his hand back ]
I just think that if you like someone, you should just go for it sometimes. [ ... ] And even if the two of you decide to hold off, that's fine. I just don't want to be part of the reason for that decision.
[ . . . . it's such a surprisingly sentimental reason that mineo does, in fact, let go of takeru.]
.... I don't mean to use you as an excuse or anything. That's not it.
[even if it's hard for him to explain exactly what it is, because that also feels - sentimental. fragile. didn't he already do the sincere confession thing earlier this week? it's not even that he really struggles with it - with most people. it's harder with takeru.
he finds himself hesitating for once, choking on his own sentiment. he wonders if he can get it out during this conversation - if he should.]
[that's a start - and mineo will move to face takeru seriously, frowning.]
.... It pisses me off when you talk about this like you're some kind of obstacle, or like it's against my interests to put you first. I don't even know what I want - not in this place when everything about love and romance seems skewed and wrong.
[when they both agreed in the first week that the idea of catching feelings was stupid. mineo did it anyway. he paid with heartache, and then swore of it moving forward. because his wish and respecting the wishes of others mattered more.]
But what I know is that right now there's nothing more important to me than—
[ . . . . but there's something in the sentiment. there's something in knowing that someone whose entire person has been shaped around revenge, to the point that they will risk their life and future for it, would be willing to give it up for your life. there's something in the innate knowledge that you would spend the rest of that life, if you were to receive it, trying to save them from their own choices even if it means reaching across entire fucking timelines.]
.... than being your partner.
[mineo chose his loyalties early, and he did it even when takeru didn't think of him as his partner in return.
they don't need to kiss, they don't need to be publicly nice to each other, and they don't need to engage in any type of romance that would make everything here so much harder.
but he needs to be clear that there's no chance he'd regret putting takeru first. he is a stubborn idiot with a one track mind, and it is the only good thing about him.]
[ see, the thing is, normally he agrees with what mineo was saying.
he still agrees, actually? he thinks romance here is kind of stupid, especially looking at what happened to all of the known couples here. they all died? there's gay drama? it just is another thing to get in the way, or can be used against you, in some way. takeru doesn't even really want to become friends with any of these people, much less fall in love with them. but something about what mineo said pissed him off.
(well. not just something; he knows exactly why it got on his nerves, but the reason isn't something that he'd ever share.)
but it's because of that something that, when mineo started talking about confessions, and how there were actually complicated feelings involved in his idiotic social circle, that takeru decided it was best to back out. why should he keep taking mineo's firsts for no reason other than he can? and when mineo explained further, about how takeru is a priority, it--
it's stupid. there's something in what mineo is saying that just dumbfounds takeru, because it really is ridiculous that he would go so far for someone as incredibly selfish as him. ]
You need to recheck your priorities. [ ... ] Moron. You really shouldn't say things like that to me, or I'll just take advanate of you.
[plainly and stubbornly, as mineo frowns a bit at the thought]
I don't want to be blinded or tricked by the people I care about anymore. [not after what happened with fuji, when mineo was blind to what he was capable and just ate up the praise] So I'd rather that you just keep telling me what you want, even if you think it'll piss me off. We'll figure it out, and work together.
[because that's what partners do.]
But I think my priorities are fine. We came here together, even if we don't remember the exact same things - you're still Takeru, and I'm still me. We're winning and then we're going home together. I'm not losing sight of that.
[ . . . and if takeru does decide that he would rather just take advantage of mineo, then that's mineo's fault. he doesn't trust easily in the first place, but there's no one he trusts more than takeru. not when no one has stuck by him through his ups and downs like takeru has. so if takeru chooses to betray that trust, even being as pragmatic and self-interested as he is, then mineo will bitch and complain and bite back -
[ he stares at mineo, his gaze intense, before he turns away. while he doesn't actually starts walking, it's obvious from his stance that he's ready to at any moment. ]
You can do what you want. [ ... ] I consider the partners thing seriously.
But if you switch your focus to someone else other than me, I wouldn't blame you. I really mean that.
[ mineo's refusal to do this has been more confusing than anything, honestly. ]
[mineo's an idiot and he's sometimes pretty difficult to deal with but - at least he takes pride in his work when he takes things seriously. he has his uses, even if it's to be thrown around and directed. why is takeru so willing to let him go?]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
he should have expected this and yet ]
I'll figure something else out. I don't particularly care if you actually date them or what. I won't lie and say I'm invested in either Endorsi or White.
[ he does not like white at all and his opinion on endorsi is also low because she just keeps bringing up mineo ]
But, I won't be in the way of whatever the fuck you're doing. So I'll figure something else out.
no subject
.... I'm sure you'll be able to. [because takeru is resourceful and smart.]
But you can't be in the way of something that isn't happening, and doesn't matter for as long as we have wishes we need to accomplish.
[is mineo a romantic? yes. is he enough of a romantic that he'll put their wishes in jeopardy for it? no and that's how he's trying to use his last two braincells.]
I said I'd help you, and I'm taking that seriously. Whatever you need from me.
no subject
he has already made his decision here, but he knows arguing isn't going to get anywhere. so he just shrugs. ]
We can change the topic again.
no subject
I don't think we should.
What - do you wanna try just seeing if napping in the middle of the day will count for your indulgences next week?
[he won't protest if they just. don't do slut-adjacent things anymore. but the idea of him being brushed away from helping takeru pisses him off a bit]
no subject
[ he's going to get up from his seat and pocket his phone. ]
Problem solved.
no subject
no he's getting up too]
- What are you pissed at me for now?!
no subject
[ but mineo wouldn't really understand.
but he's going to just walk out of the room now, aiming to head for the sleep bay. ]
no subject
Then at least explain them! Takeru...!!
no subject
No.
no subject
he's just going to reach out to catch takeru's wrist]
You can't just shut me out every time I say something you don't like - what even was it this time?! I thought I was making the most practical decision!
[SO HOW DID HE STILL FUCK UP]
no subject
[ give him his hand back ]
I just think that if you like someone, you should just go for it sometimes. [ ... ] And even if the two of you decide to hold off, that's fine. I just don't want to be part of the reason for that decision.
It's not something I'll appreciate.
no subject
.... I don't mean to use you as an excuse or anything. That's not it.
[even if it's hard for him to explain exactly what it is, because that also feels - sentimental. fragile. didn't he already do the sincere confession thing earlier this week? it's not even that he really struggles with it - with most people. it's harder with takeru.
he finds himself hesitating for once, choking on his own sentiment. he wonders if he can get it out during this conversation - if he should.]
no subject
Well, whatever it is, I gave you my reason. You can accept my advice or not-- it's up to you in the end.
[ he doesn't really want to get involved, after all. and mineo is right that it would probably make things messy when you're running for a wish.
but... takeru thinks it might be nice, to not give up someone due to some obligation. ]
no subject
Takeru, wait. We're not done. At least face me while we talk about this.
[there's a strange feeling like he's gonna regret this and YET the stubbornness continues to win out]
no subject
but he'll come to a stop. ]
What.
[1/3]
.... It pisses me off when you talk about this like you're some kind of obstacle, or like it's against my interests to put you first. I don't even know what I want - not in this place when everything about love and romance seems skewed and wrong.
[when they both agreed in the first week that the idea of catching feelings was stupid. mineo did it anyway. he paid with heartache, and then swore of it moving forward. because his wish and respecting the wishes of others mattered more.]
But what I know is that right now there's nothing more important to me than—
no subject
uuuuhhhhHHHHH hey buddy, that's a little fucking GAY?
it's like you can hear the brakes in mineo's mind getting slammed]
no subject
.... than being your partner.
[mineo chose his loyalties early, and he did it even when takeru didn't think of him as his partner in return.
they don't need to kiss, they don't need to be publicly nice to each other, and they don't need to engage in any type of romance that would make everything here so much harder.
but he needs to be clear that there's no chance he'd regret putting takeru first. he is a stubborn idiot with a one track mind, and it is the only good thing about him.]
no subject
he still agrees, actually? he thinks romance here is kind of stupid, especially looking at what happened to all of the known couples here. they all died? there's gay drama? it just is another thing to get in the way, or can be used against you, in some way. takeru doesn't even really want to become friends with any of these people, much less fall in love with them. but something about what mineo said pissed him off.
(well. not just something; he knows exactly why it got on his nerves, but the reason isn't something that he'd ever share.)
but it's because of that something that, when mineo started talking about confessions, and how there were actually complicated feelings involved in his idiotic social circle, that takeru decided it was best to back out. why should he keep taking mineo's firsts for no reason other than he can? and when mineo explained further, about how takeru is a priority, it--
it's stupid. there's something in what mineo is saying that just dumbfounds takeru, because it really is ridiculous that he would go so far for someone as incredibly selfish as him. ]
You need to recheck your priorities. [ ... ] Moron. You really shouldn't say things like that to me, or I'll just take advanate of you.
no subject
[plainly and stubbornly, as mineo frowns a bit at the thought]
I don't want to be blinded or tricked by the people I care about anymore. [not after what happened with fuji, when mineo was blind to what he was capable and just ate up the praise] So I'd rather that you just keep telling me what you want, even if you think it'll piss me off. We'll figure it out, and work together.
[because that's what partners do.]
But I think my priorities are fine. We came here together, even if we don't remember the exact same things - you're still Takeru, and I'm still me. We're winning and then we're going home together. I'm not losing sight of that.
[ . . . and if takeru does decide that he would rather just take advantage of mineo, then that's mineo's fault. he doesn't trust easily in the first place, but there's no one he trusts more than takeru. not when no one has stuck by him through his ups and downs like takeru has. so if takeru chooses to betray that trust, even being as pragmatic and self-interested as he is, then mineo will bitch and complain and bite back -
but he can't hate him or blame him.]
no subject
You can do what you want. [ ... ] I consider the partners thing seriously.
But if you switch your focus to someone else other than me, I wouldn't blame you. I really mean that.
[ mineo's refusal to do this has been more confusing than anything, honestly. ]
no subject
Why?
[that's confusing to him too - ]
Wouldn't it be inconvenient to you if I did?
[mineo's an idiot and he's sometimes pretty difficult to deal with but - at least he takes pride in his work when he takes things seriously. he has his uses, even if it's to be thrown around and directed. why is takeru so willing to let him go?]
no subject
[ there's a pause, and he'll walk closer to mineo, so he can pat him on the cheek again. ]
But I've learned some things about myself.
no subject
he flusters again because this is just what happens when takeru is halfway decent to him]
.... do I get to ask or are you just gonna tell me no and try to walk away again?
no subject
No.
(no subject)
(no subject)